I'm Scared

1. I’m scared. I’m scared that everything I felt for you will never go away and I’m scared that I made our love story up in my head. I know I’m a bit of an exaggerater and I like the pain, but I’m sick of waking up to a bloody mouth every morning. I can’t stop biting my tongue in my sleep, but it’s the only way to keep me from screaming your name in the middle of the night.

2. I take every chance I get to wish for your name to pop up on my phone. But I wish for a lot more than just that. I wish I would have answered your call. I wish I would have asked you to lay down with me. I wish you wouldn’t have left. 

3. I’m suffocating in my own skin. I can’t breathe without feeling your hand on my cheek, your lips on mine, your head on my shoulder. They say it takes two weeks for your skin cells to replace themselves, but it’s been two months and I can still feel you. 

4. Sometimes I think that if I had seen you one more time, things would be different. Maybe I’d be falling asleep to the sound of your voice on the phone instead of choking on my tears. Maybe I’d be sneaking out to kiss you goodnight instead of sneaking out to kiss a stranger so I could forget you. Maybe you wouldn’t have left.”