Semoga

Semoga tidak kamu lagi yang ku lihat sebagai pembangkit ku ketika hari-hari aku terjatuh.

Semoga tidak kamu lagi yang ku harapkan dalam setiap doa yang aku panjatkan.

Semoga tidak kamu lagi yang selalu hadir di tiap jengkal ingatan ku.

Semoga tidak kamu lagi yang selalu kunanti sepanjang waktu.

Semoga tidak kamu lagi.

Semoga.

Bukankah?

Bukankah semua hati pasti memiliki seseorang yang akan selalu ia cinta, ia rindu dan ia tangisi? 

Bukankah semua jiwa pasti memiliki seseorang yang akan selalu melintas dalam pikirannya tanpa ia minta? 

Bukankah semua raga pasti pernah terduduk dan merenung tentang seseorang yang sudah lama tak lagi menjadi sandarannya? 

Bukankah setiap tangan pernah tanpa sengaja menulis tentang seseorang yang pernah tergenggam untuk menemani hari?

Bukankah angin pernah seraya berhembus untuk membawa dan mengingatkan seseorang tentang aroma yang sudah tidak lagi berada dalam harinya? 

Bukankah pernah dalam suatu ruang yang berisi seribu sosok manusia, namun mata hanya ingin melihat sesosok yang telah lama menghilang tenggelam oleh waktu? 

Karena bagi beberapa orang, 

akan selalu ada cinta yang tersisa

pada setiap kalimat akan hatinya yang telah hancur menjadi kepingan ilusi.

Akan selalu ada cinta yang tersisa

pada setiap kalimat "aku sudah tidak mencintainya."

Akan selalu ada cinta yang tersisa

kepada dirinya yang pernah meninggalkan ruam dalam dada dan sesak dalam rasa.

Akan selalu ada cinta yang tersisa

karena ia pernah benar-benar mencinta.

Never

“Never in my life do I wanna fall in love with someone when I’m at my worst or when I’m having a hard time. I want to fall in love with someone when I am at my best. When everything else is sorted and beautiful, when I’m happy in my own skin, when I have a stable job, when I’m in love with myself. I never want to fall in love with someone when I’m broken and full of despair, or when the pain is filled up to the brim. I don’t want to fall in love with someone when my feet aren’t stable or my shoulders aren’t capable. I want to look at someone, on a random street and feel the connection. The spark that strikes your heart and you fall in love with the way they are. I want to be able to love someone or find someone to do so when my life is settled and balanced. When I’m successful and when I’m not drowning in agony. I want my love to be real and pure and not just an escape from my loneliness, and definitely not a remedy to my pain. I want to fall in love with someone because of what they are and not because of what I am not.”

You What?

“You say I am the best you’ve ever had, but neither of us care to admit I am also the best you’ll never be able to keep. I am a furious, windstruck storm of a human being, with passion bordering on madness and romanticism bordering on obsession. My kisses are the only part of myself your lips can fathom, and your hands cannot even touch my body without your fingers staining from all the storms that rage within me.

You seem to love the type of women whose eyes are serene and bright as the summer days they spend with you, who are beautiful and competent in the ways the world is only to happy to accept. They love with lukewarm tenderness and just a hint of arrogance only a life of privilege can bring- they hurt you, perhaps, but never amaze you, and the height of their unpredictability will end in a drunk car ride home that tastes almost as common as the whiskey you drink to forget them. But forgotten they will soon become, and there are many, many, women who will share the shade of their eyes and the nature of their well contained laughs. They will take months from you, tears from you, and sobriety from you temporarily, but never anything deeper. 

You do not understand the ways, then, in which women like me love. I will take the speck of honey brown from your eyes, the warmth of your skin, and the movement of your hips and hold them closer than you pull me, for I do not know what it means to feel without completion. To love, to feel, to touch without giving all of myself is a foreign concept I have no desire to become acquainted with, and I am sorry, but the only compensation I accept is everything you cannot give in fear it will destroy you. I will love you with all I have to offer, all of my madness and wild hair and sweet laughter and crooked teeth, and while there could be paradise between us, I offer no promises about what we will take from each other. Does that frighten you? It should. The truth is I am as full of destruction as I am affection. 

You crave the sensation of me on top of you, but you do not understand me. Do not be fooled by the kindness in my eyes or the softness of my skin—I am a multitude of miraculous tragedies dressed in art. And as much as I want to love you and spread the deepest parts of myself over you like the tides on a coastal shore, I know you cannot love me in the way I demand to be loved. You are too accustomed to the idea of affection with no lasting consequence, and so you cannot possibly have enough to give without leaving me at least partly empty. I am someone full of presence, and any absence you leave will leave me bare.

Bosan Perih

Singkat kata, aku marah. 

Aku menulis ini bukanlah atas nama cinta dan air mata. Aku menulis kali ini atas nama amarah yang membelenggu dan membuat lidah kelu selepas semalaman bermimpi tentangmu. Aku menulis tetek bengek ini demi membentak diri sendiri yang setelah sekian lama masih menggenggam sayang dalam jemari. 

Sekarang ini, aku lelah. 

Sempat aku romantisasi caraku mencinta yang tak tahu waktu dan tak paham sakit. Nyatanya, kini tiba waktunya aku mengutuk kesetiaan tanpa dasar dan menyumpahi sayang yang bertahan. Persetan dengan diriku yang tak tahu diri menyayangimu dari jauh; tanpa harapan, tanpa tujuan. Persetan dengan alam bawah sadarku yang kerap mengingatkanku akan dirimu dan kemustahilan angan; kita yang bersama dan bahagia. Persetan juga dengan asaku yang diam-diam terus memupuk benih harapan yang masih hidup.

Ah, sudahlah. 

Biarkan aku marah dan terdiam, berusaha membunuh rasa dan menata hati baik-baik. Biarkan aku yang berjuang untuk berhenti demi kamu yang tak tahu menahu. Biarkan aku menahan diri saja dan berdoa agar kamu terus bahagia.

I'm Scared

1. I’m scared. I’m scared that everything I felt for you will never go away and I’m scared that I made our love story up in my head. I know I’m a bit of an exaggerater and I like the pain, but I’m sick of waking up to a bloody mouth every morning. I can’t stop biting my tongue in my sleep, but it’s the only way to keep me from screaming your name in the middle of the night.

2. I take every chance I get to wish for your name to pop up on my phone. But I wish for a lot more than just that. I wish I would have answered your call. I wish I would have asked you to lay down with me. I wish you wouldn’t have left. 

3. I’m suffocating in my own skin. I can’t breathe without feeling your hand on my cheek, your lips on mine, your head on my shoulder. They say it takes two weeks for your skin cells to replace themselves, but it’s been two months and I can still feel you. 

4. Sometimes I think that if I had seen you one more time, things would be different. Maybe I’d be falling asleep to the sound of your voice on the phone instead of choking on my tears. Maybe I’d be sneaking out to kiss you goodnight instead of sneaking out to kiss a stranger so I could forget you. Maybe you wouldn’t have left.”

Senja

Senja tak lagi mengingatkan pada kita. Hujan tak lagi membawa kenangan. Gerimis tak lagi membuat hati teriris. Pelangi tak lagi merobek seluruh isi hati. Petir tak lagi mengingatkan pada malam yg getir. Ombak tak lagi bergerak memerintah otak. Bau tanah tak lagi mengingatkan pada tawa renyah. Batu tak lagi mengajarkan mengenai pilu. Pasir tak lagi membuat hati berdesir.

Seluruh isi semesta sudah tak membuat gema.

Karena aku sudah pergi, berlari ke tempat sepi sunyi diujung dimensi.Karena kamu sudah tiada, selepas semesta dengan kejamnya memisahkan kita.

Karena kita terlalu naif untuk memahami tanda-tanda dari semesta; bahwa kita bukan sepasang. Sehingga kita jatuh terlalu jauh, terpelosok hingga langkah terseok. Hingga kita sekarat dan masih saling menyalahkan siapa diantara kita yg paling bangsat. Saling menuduh tentang siapa yg berusaha untuk acuh. Saling bercerita mencari seorang yg mengiyakan keputusan kita.

Ketahuilah, Sayang. Waktu kita terbuang karena saling menyalahkan. Kita telah terlempar jauh dan menghilang dari peradaban. Kita hilang dan seluruh umat tetap saja tenang. Kita tak berarti di dunia ini, kenapa kita tak saling introspeksi? Tidak. Karena kita penganut aliran gengsi. Kita diusir dari bumi.

Kita, musnah.

Jikalau

Jikalau kamu bertanya bagaimana kabarku, maka sama:

aku yang belum mampu pergi

dan masih saja sendiri, 

tengah menyimpan banyak rindu padamu.

Jikalau kamu bertanya bagaimana keadaanku, maka sederhana saja:

aku masih mencintaimu,

setelah sekian lama berlalu,

dan masih memutar ulang kenangan-kenangan dahulu.

Maaf.

Tetapi,

bukan mauku

untuk terus mengingatmu.

Hanya saja,

ternyata untuk melupakanmu,

seperti mengingat seseorang,

yang tak pernah kukenal.

Apakah Kita?

Apakah kita akan tetap seperti ini?

Saling menjauh hingga tak saling sapa lagi,

menunggu siapa terlebih dulu menghubungi. Entah aku atau kau—kita hanya bisa bertanya dalam hati.

Apakah kita akan tetap seperti ini?

Bersikap seolah olah baik-baik saja

namun keadaan hati tak mengatakan aku bahagianya. Aku hanya menyembunyikan luka di saat seharusnya semua hal harus kuterima.

Apakah kita akan tetap seperti ini?

Kita yang asing dengan cara masing-masing,

kita yang mencoba melupa saat perasaan mengatakan kita tak benar-benar tega.

Apakah kita akan tetap seperti ini?

Sampai akhirnya kita tak lagi saling peduli,

tidak lagi saling mencari,

hingga kita lupa pernah saling mencintai.

Kau yang pergi,

aku yang merapikan hati.

It's Worse

It's worse at night. 

It hurts. It hurts a lot when you love someone and they take that for granted. It hurts when they use your insecurities against you. It hurts when they become a person you don’t even recognize anymore. 

It makes you feel lonely. They were your best friend, your everything. Their family was your family, but now they are gone too. You feel the hole that they have left like it was an actual wound in your chest. 

It makes you question yourself. Was this the right decision? Were you just being over dramatic? Did you convince yourself that you are stronger than you actually are? Can you do this?

It makes you want to do something stupid. Like date other people and flirt and pretend like you are whole when in reality half of you is still in the palms of their hands. Like get drunk and cry and wish you hadn’t left them even though they were tearing you apart from the inside. Like want to call them and take them back. 

It’s worse at night. When everyone is asleep, but you haven’t been able to close your eyes before 4am since it happened. When it’s quiet, and you can’t distract yourself and pretend and smile in front of your friends and family and say “It was the right thing to do. I’m moving on.” 

It’s worse at night because no one is there to hold you when you cry. And if someone was there it wasn’t them. It’s worse at night because the dark hides your shame and guilt as you pull out the letters and the gifts and the pictures—god, the pictures—and try to tell yourself that this was a different time, a different person. 

It’s worse at night because you look at their social media. Their twitter, Facebook, anything you can get your hands on that tells you they are hurting as badly as you are. It’s worse at night when you instead find pictures of them smiling and living and you’re still sitting on the couch crying until you’re numb inside.

It’s worse all the time because it’s not with them. Because you can’t go back even though you want to so badly. Because you aren’t the same person anymore either and it’s because of them. It’s worse because you’re broken and bleeding and the bandaids of “it will get better” do nothing to stop it. 

It’s worse because you can’t fucking move on.

For the love I have always craved long ago

i.
For the love I have always craved long ago, he came and gave me the warmth like no one ever did. I thought that was what I deserved when I actually deserved more.

ii.
He played me like I had strings knotted to the whole of my body; like puppet shows. I even thought that if he broke my spine I would still fall onto his direction. He tattooed every inch of my vulnerable skin with the plots of his temporary madness.

iii.
It started off from my lips and went down steadily. I thought it was love until he stripped me bare and gutted my insides with what should've been a device of sacred rite.

iv.
Now every slash on my scar-donned wrist shows how I try to erase the memory of his hands on me. Facing the mirror equals to facing pieces of him; I start to imagine that every evil in existence takes his shape; tainting the innocent, breaking down the toughest walls, then razing the insides and permanently leaving marks of what lust could do to someone.

v.
Now every guy I glance at reminds me of him. How he looked, how he acted; all sweet and caring—in short, all those layers of mask he wore. I attempt many other chances at love yet they do nothing but shatter me further.

vi.
I'm sure I've tried to bury every piece of his remains. I did, or so thought I did.

I thought I had buried them

d
    e
 e
     p
        inside of myself—in the back of my mind, between the subconscious and unconscious layers that they started affecting me more than I thought possible. Bit by bit, my spontaneous acts show how they were carved like an utterly messed up mosaic.

vii.
I'm really aware that what he did to me stops me from moving. He tucked me somewhere between his fingers, holding me inside his grasp, imprisoning me. No matter how far I try to run, it will feel like he is inches behind to make sure I won't slip away.

viii.
Now broken down and totally fucked up, I'm still trying to gather the fallen pieces of myself
in every guy I've met,
every failed relationship attempt,
in the love which I've lost my trust in. All of these caused by his filthy deeds.

For every pair of eye I've ever glimpsed at, I keep fearing that other guys
are
just
like
him.

What if we hadn’t met?

“What if we hadn’t met? 

Do you think we would’ve been better off? 

I’d probably be peacefully sleeping instead of constantly thinking about you. I wouldn’t be thinking about your smile and how I desperately wished I could see it one last time. I wouldn’t be reminiscing how good we were once upon a time. And I certainly wouldn’t be missing you. I’d be happy because I wouldn’t be burdened with the thoughts of you holding someone else in your arms, someone who isn’t me. If I hadn’t met you, I would possibly still have had thought I was good enough, that I deserved happiness and I would find someone who’d give it to me. 

And you, well you wouldn’t be so bitter towards me for starters. Maybe, you would’ve found someone who treated you the way you deserved to be treated from the start and you would’ve never wasted a year of your life on something so pointless. You would’ve always been happy.

Imagine. What if the day you saw something in me in that room, I wasn’t there for something to be seen? And the day you decided to message me, I didn’t reply for us to talk for countless of hours? And after all those days of you telling me you loved me, I never ever said it back? Wouldn’t we have saved each other from all this pain? 

What if we had never met?”

But, we did.

Hardest Satnight in My Entire Life

I want you to know that it is not always easy to love me. In fact, it’s probably never easy to love me. Not even for a second, I’m hard to love.

Cause sometimes my heart fills with so much emptiness that it’s hard to breath. And sometimes my mind wanders out to the extreme and brings back emotions I thought would be gone.

My point is I’m not easy to love, and if you can’t love me when I don’t talk to you for three days because I’m just so depressed that getting out of bed is hard then you are not fit to love me. If you can’t love me when I’m warm and happy at 2 pm then you can’t love me when I’m cold and harsh at 4 am. I need a lover who knows how to love me when I’m sad because the fact is I can’t do this on my own. Even if I say I can, I know deep down I can’t. And I don’t want to do it all alone which is what I’ve been doing for the past 18 years of life I’ve had.

So please, if you’re gonna love me when I’m happy and sweet and spilling I love you’s out like it’s your name then you’re gonna have to love me when I’m on my bathroom floor crying, to tired to move, scared of what I’ll do.

You’re gonna have to hold me. You’re gonna have to tell me it’s gonna be okay even if you don’t think it is. You’re gonna have to tell me that even in this mist of sadness that I have you. That I’m not alone even though I feel like I am 99% of the time.

So please, please, please be careful with my heart. It’s been broken so many times and sure I’ve always put it back together but my kindness is growing weaker with every I love you that is met with a “goodbye, you weren’t enough.”

So all I ask is think. Please think for a good 10 minutes of this, if I’m what you want. If you can handle this. If you choose to stay I promise I’ll love you the same each day. I promise I’ll love you when you are down about life and I promise I’ll love you when you are so joyful that it hurts to smile because you’ve been doing it all day. I promise I’ll love you with everything I have which isn’t much but I hope it’s enough. I hope I’m enough.

So when you figure everything out let me know. I’ll be waiting.

I Feel

I feel like my life right now is like something out of a novel. A movie. Tv series. Anything that has sweet boys you inevitably fall for in it. Because you're here—you're always here since ever. It's funny how we happened. I'd touch your hand with mine that's so much smaller than yours and then you'd intertwine our fingers and laugh at how easy it is to trap my body in your arms. I'd just laugh along, because yes, it's too easy to trap me in you. You'd say my name again and again every time silence conquers what little space we have in your room and after the fifteenth time you'd laugh at yourself, saying "How many times now have I said your name?" I'd just shrug and you'd hold me so much tighter—I'd think I'll break. I won't though. You don't break me—you have soft hands that tend to create thing. You'd heal me. Make something new, something healthier, better, out of my shattered pieces.

Have you ever?

have you ever encountered a soul so beautiful, you cried everything out of yourself rethinking life and asking yourself what did you do to deserve something this wonderful?

have you ever met someone that feels so much like light and warmth and home that their presence feels like a resemblance of everything you've ever needed in your life?

have you ever met a heart so pure, that yours break every time it does?

have you ever met someone so kind yet so underrated they think you're a blessing while actually they're better than anything you could ever asked for, to the point that you think of ways to show them that when they thought you were a blessing, it was never you, it's always been the reflection of their own self in the form of someone else?

i have.

and i think this person deserves so much more than anything this world could ever offer.

"Friends can break your heart too."

It's true. Having your heart broken is not always about the romantic relationship. Having a best friend includes spending hundreds even thousands of days together. Maybe you have same favorite songs, or same taste in food, or same favorite movies, or anything. It makes the bond stronger. 

But somehow, we all know that reality eventually will fuck us. Things does go wrong, somehow. And sometimes, there are things that are out of control. Fate, destiny? I don't know. What I know is, no matter how long you have build the relationship, if someone was meant to leave, they will leave. 

The hardest thing is, it is so fucking hard to accept that you can't talk to them anymore. There is this thing inside human that is known as ego. You don't want to let go, but you won't tell them. Because you are scared that it might seem like it is your fault, that the reason is you–they leave. 

Not just that, not just the unacceptance. Not just sadness. But anger, you are mad because remembering that all those time, you were always there and in just one reason? boom. Everything disappear. Yet the memories will always haunt you for a long long time. 

Until you move on. 

Indeed my friend, friends will break your heart too. And it's worst. 

[PROMISES TO SELF]

1. I will consider my feelings. If I cannot feel my feelings, I will write about it until I can figure out what’s going on, or until my hands lock. Whatever comes first.

2. I will make me time. I will not always expect other people to be there, on demand, to fill the gaps of my life.

3. I will work at making my alone time restful, enjoyable, and rewarding.

4. I will not go out and try to get to know people in only a romantic/sexual context. I will not eroticize their person until their sexuality in terms of my pleasure is the only thing I desire, and wish to learn nothing else. I will see people as whole.

5. I will dress how I want, and work on not letting my thoughts of how people perceive my gender, sexuality, or beauty affect this.

6. I will not try and control the life of another. I will try to be a support, I will try to give advice if asked, I will try to be a friend, but I will not try to control another autonomous beings’ decisions from afar using coercion, guilt, or any other form of manipulation.

7. I will stand up for myself when I am criticized, because I am a smart, friendly, compassionate, hot bitch. However, I will not always ignore criticisms, because I make mistakes and criticism can help me recognize that, and I will learn and grow from it.

8. I will be accountable for my words and my actions. I will try to think about what I say before I say it, and what I do before I do it.

9. I will be accountable to myself, yet still kind. I will kick my ass into shape when I need to, then congratulate and rest when it is time.

10. I will take the time to care for myself. I will constantly relearn how to care for myself, because I am always changing, and that is okay.

APRES MHT05 FINAL

This is our last performance as senior year! Enjoy :D

RIBOSOME

   Setelah sekian lama gue tidak memposting, akhirnya gue memutuskan untuk menulis apa yang sekarang ini sedang gue pikirkan, dengan harapan gue gak melupakan semua memori berharga yang pernah gue alami dalam hidup gue. Gue tidak pandai dalam berkata-kata, dan yang ingin gue lakukan adalah menuliskan sepotong kisah yang bermakna dalam hidup gue,

     Ribosome. Ya, itu nama kelas 11 gue di masa SMA. Gue juga gatau gimana awalnya nama kelas kita jadi RIBOSOME. Yang kita tau, itu adalah salah satu organel sel yang buat sintesis protein oke back to the topic.

     Pernah gak sih lo ngalamain yang namanya masa-masa pahit dalam hidup, klo istilahnya lo lagi naik rollercoaster itu lo lagi dibawah. Di kelas biologi ini, gue belajar banyak banget hal. Sempet gue berpikir gue ingin jadi anak yang banyak gaya, jadi anak bandel di SMA, tapi setelah masuk XI Bio gue sadar, yang kayak gitu ga guna, gue jadi males sendiri, gue jenuh sama kepalsuan. Gue ingin originalitas dan kesederhanaan, dan di XI Bio itu sangat apa adanya, dan dari kesederhanaan itu gue menemukan kebahagiaan dan bersama Ribosome gue jadi tau bagaimana untuk selalu rendah hati dan ga boleh sombong.  

     Yang selalu orang tua gue bilang adalah "pinter itu nomor dua, nomor satu itu sikap". Ya, gue ini sangat tidak sempurna. I'm not good at attitude. Di biologi gue banyak bercermin dan melihat ke dalam diri gue. Di XI Bio, ketika gue minta diajarin, semua mau ngajarin, dan mereka dengan sabar mengulangnya kalo gue ga ngerti-ngerti. Ga cuma itu, banyak banget kenangan yang gue lalui bersama Ribosome, gue bingung harus memulai darimana..

     So many memories we've been through, dari mulai dekorasi kelas, Open House FKUI, lomba 17an, deliv bareng, ngumpul ngerjain tugas bareng sambil makan nasi goreng sm eskrim oreo, lomba psn di ipb, ke galeri nasional, jalan-jalan sore abis ujian, ke lantai tiga bareng-bareng, nentuin sweater kelas, main Left4Dead bareng, ke koperasi bareng, main tod di gor, main bentengan, segala jenis apres yang selalu disiapin pas udah mepet-mepet waktunya yang menurut gue apres kita paling keren, kata "Ya Ampun" "Nice" "Astoajim" "Fix" "iya dong, bener dong, ....dong" *apa2 diakhiri dong* *TERIAK YAAAAAK* yang udah jadi bahasa kita sehari-sehari ketika ada orang yang ngomong suatu hal yang sangat non sense atau lawakan kelas atas, dan sekarang menjadi slogan kita. Kata ini sendiri buatan Angyo dan sekarang kata “Ya Ampun” menjadi sangat hits di angkatan gue, lawakan kita yang gapernah abis, teriakan Angyo yang sangat khas dan semua anak bio yang berusaha menirukannya, kelas kita yang sangat heboh dan ramai yang katanya sih kedengeran sampe bawah, menonton Hatori Kakurenbo bareng sampe semua terlonjak kaget, mengikuti oss bareng, baper2an bareng, dikelas kalo gabut selalu nyetel musik pake speaker yang siapapun duduk di situ bakal dibilang DJ, especially DJ Ageng.

    

     Makan nasi uduk pak tono bareng2 di depan kelas yang super enak!! Ngebahas soal di grup kelas, foto sama guru-guru peroliman, dan yang lebih bangga lagi, kelas bio meraih prestasi di bidang OSN yaitu Aby mendapat medali perak. Subhanallah. Kita bangga dan bersyukur, bio itu gabisa diremehin lagi dalam dunia olim. Udah gitu kelas kita adalah kelas paling pewe, deket tangga dan toilet, ac dingin, ada komputer yang kita isi sama semua playlist yang ada di hp kita masing-masing lengkap dengan speaker yang super kenceng dan mic yang biasa dipake untuk niru-niru siaran radio oleh mail atau suara pramugari, kelas kita deket sama sumber wifi dan sinyalnya cukup kuat, lebihnya lagi kelas ini pewe banget buat tidur.

Berikut beberapa foto dari sekian banyak foto yang kita punya..

     Kelas kita ini, punya karakter masing-masing. Dan gue seneng lagi ketika soulcrave 06 ini biologi cukup banyak meraih kemenangan, walau kita tau kita tidak pandai dalam bidang olahraga dan tidak menang satupun, tapi dalam bidang lain kita cukup berkompeten. Salah satunya lomba Cooking Marathon kelas kita juara 2, dengan nama RIBOCHEF dan nama masakan Nasi Goreng Ya Ampun. Selain itu, kelas kita juara 2 juga lomba boyband dengan nama RIBOZIN. Kelas biologi ini, kelas yang cukup ambis menurut gue, dan sangat rajin, dan membuat gue menjadi termotivasi untuk belajar yang bener. Ketika ada yang lg belajar, yang lain jd ingin ikutan belajar dan kita saling ngajarin. Kita semua sama-sama berusaha bareng, dan gaada yang ninggalin. Ngomong-ngomong soal ninggalin, kita semua selalu bareng kalo mau ke gor, pulang dr gor, ke koperasi, lari-larian ke lab mat ketika pelajaran bu Wieke, ke kelas sejarah bareng... yang gue salut dr kelas ini ya itu, pasti bareng-bareng. Selain itu, ketika ada yang sakit pasti dijenguk dan diantar tasnya, rasa kepedulian  yang tinggi ini yang bikin kita semakin solid. Gue merasa we're stick together. Kelas yang menurut gue bener-bener solid.

     Dan kemarin adalah 3 hari di Bandung bersama Ribosome adalah momen yang paling tidak bisa dilupakan. Mengunjungi tempat-tempat keren di Bandung, foto bareng, masak bareng, main uno bareng, tarawih bareng, sahur bareng, ngabuburit bareng, buka bareng. Kita semua bener-bener bahagia, dan menyatu. Ribosome itu saling berbagi. Malam terakhir, so many things that crossed my mind, so many things that I want to say malem itu, tapi karena waktu sudah larut, I haven’t said it all. Jadi gue menulis lewat blog ini..

  Malam itu, kita saling membuka pikiran dan hati satu sama lain mengeluarkan apa yang ada di benak kita. Satu persatu mulai menitikkan air mata. Tiap orang menceritakan kesan pesan mereka di 11 biologi. Gue pun ga bisa nahan air mata gue lagi, ketika Farhan menceritakan semua isi hatinya, kesedihannya pisah sama Ribosome, kenyamanannya dia sama kelas ini, ketika kita semua tau dia nulis semua kejadian yang dia alami sama Ribosome karena dia gak mau ngelupain kita, ketika dia bilang dia ketawa kalo gue ketawa, dan suatu hari, Mitra juga sempet bilang hanya gue satu-satunya orang yang bisa mengetuk pintu hati Farhan dan merubah dia, bikin dia ketawa lepas, bikin dia jadi berani dan mengeluarkan pendapat… Di XI Bio emang Farhan banyak banget perubahan, ketika dia bilang dia ga pinter-pinter banget di mht gapapa, tp punya temen aja udah cukup bahagia. Hal-hal yang kayak gitu yang bikin gue sedih, nangis, haru, sekaligus bersyukur sama Tuhan. Malam itu suasana bener-bener hikmat, semua saling bermaafaan. Kita tau kita semua saling menyayangi. Di situ gue tau, temen-temen gue sayang sama gue, dan memang itu yang gue inginkan, gue disayang sama temen-temen gue.

     Kenapa ya.. waktu berjalan begitu cepat. Gue seneng dan tidak menyesal gue masuk 11 bio, dari yang awalnya sangat diam dan krik, tapi seiring berjalannya waktu, kita sama sekali ga krik namun sebaliknya kita bahkan sangat berisik. Bermacam-macam karakter bisa disatuin. Ribosome itu orang-orangnya sangat hardworking dan sejauh ini, menurut gue ribosome kelas yang paling tinggi rasa toleransinya.

     Gue sayang kalian. Dan sekarang, saatnya kita untuk fokus karena udah kelas 12. Semangat berjuang Ribosome, untuk menghadapi Ujian Nasional nanti dan berbagai macam tes untuk masuk PTN. Terima kasih atas 1 tahun + 3 hari yang luar biasa. Gue berharap kita semua bakal sukses di masa depan dan meraih cita-cita yang kita impikan. Aminnnn

     Ribosome teach me how to be kind to everyone and be humble. And when I said, gue sayang kalian, I really mean it. I do. Because Ribosome is my family. 

Thamrin Olympiad and Cup IV 2nd Trailer - Closing

CLOSING :D

SMANU MH THAMRIN

     Hai semua. Udah lama banget saya gak blogging lagi. Saya sekarang udah selesai UN dan tinggal nunggu hasilnya, BESOK! :O Saya baru aja pulang dari psikotes masuk SMANU MH THAMRIN. Bagi yang ga tau, silahkan cari di Google :D Saya ingin sekali masuk sma itu. Doakan saya ya semoga saya diterima, Amin. Tadi itu ada 5 tes, tapi tesnya beranak-pinak. Mulai tes pukul 07.00 pagi selesai pukul 12.00. Saya sebelumnya sudah tes akademik yaitu mata pelajaran Matematika dan Science. Saya tes bersama teman saya satu sekolah dari SMP 1 Jakarta yang bernama Nabilah. Ya, dari sekolah kami, hanya kami berdua yang mendaftar, sebenarnya ada tiga yang satu itu namanya Aryo, tapi dia ikut tes yang gelombang pertama. Kemarin kami sudah menjalani tes akademik. Hari ini psikotes, dan besok adalah pengumumannya. Deg-degan banget! Setelah selesai saya dan Nabilah pulang dengan mobil Adhi temannya Nabilah. Dia anak smp 99 Jakarta dan dia juga mendaftar di SMA THAMRIN bersama temannya. Kami pulang diantar oleh bapaknya Adhi. Beliau sangat baik, Adhinya pun sangat baik dan sopan. Kita tinggal mendaftar ulang besok dan lihat pengumuman. Jadi besok itu ada 2 pengumuman : 

1. Pengumuman kelulusan UN 

2. Pengumuman seleksi penerimaan siswa baru SMA THAMRIN

Guys! Doakan kami ya agar bisa lulus UN dengan NEM yang bagus, tinggi dan sangat memuaskan dan lolos  seleksi dan diterima di SMA THAMRIN. Amin Ya Allah. Hehe terimakasih :)

Halo!

        After long time, now i'm back again. It feels like it was yesterday i started to blogging. Now, I'm in grade 9th. I'm in exams week. There are lot of exams that we have to pass. This week, we are doing practice exams. There are Indonesian language, English, Commerce, ICT, Sports, Art and Culture, Science, and Religion. Bismillah, i'll get 100 score, Amin! 

          So guys, tomorrow are art and culture practice and sports. You know, i can run 5 times perimeter school yard. But if you ask me about gymnastic? You have no idea. I mean, this kind of sport is really difficult. But, i have to try, no matter what. I have practice it. I've learned on the internet how to do front roll, backward roll etc. I also learned it on youtube! I still can't doing the backward roll. Gosh. 

             I hope you all wish that i will get the highest score in the school! Amin. 

This is My New Design

  Hello guys! I'm back again in blogger world. Y, you know I really miss blogging. Oke. First time, I wanna tell you about something that I just know. This application showing about how to design a clothes, background, and whatever you want. I just found this application from my friend, her name is Salsabilla Khansa. Yeah, I don't really interest about fashion, but I really like design! :D Oke, let me showing about my design. Check it out!

Photograph 

Oh yeah, this is the first time I design clothes. Totally, destroyed creation! -___-

Then,

White Stripes

The second time I design this clothes

 with theme "The Girl Who Like to Go Out at Night" 

6 People are like my creation! 

Pink Glam 

This one looks so elegant. I'd like to use this theme 

"The Girl in The Party" 

Gold Sparkles

Paris J'adore

This! Is one of my favorite looks! Love ya! <3

Shopaholic

What a cute girl! This girl, described about 

my true character. Ha! :D

Random Queen 

What the hell! This woman really looks beautiful, graceful, 

and elegant like a Queen. This is the most favorite design! 

A blend between a dress color and background really 

stunning. Moreover, when I gave a purplish effect on the designs.

 It's really a very beautiful work! Love this looks!♥♥♥ 

That's all of my design! Please give a comment, thankyou for visit my blog! I really appreciate it!;D